belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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