woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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