this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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