Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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