What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
