how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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