I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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