Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
