i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
