I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
