This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
