So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Randomize
