i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
