youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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