Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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