So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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