Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My feet surprised me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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