...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
