we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Say something about gay babies.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
