At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
