Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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