no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
