Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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