Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
