just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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