Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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