Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
