the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I need water and some morals
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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