i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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