your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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