haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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