Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
