I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
