Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
