Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
