I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
