No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
