Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
