i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
