Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
