So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
