There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
