rhymes with "ouble enetration"
birth control should be required to get into college
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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