I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
