i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
