Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Randomize
