Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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