doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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