i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
