dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
