porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
