I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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